! Joel Grueberman: Manitoba Foxworthy

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Manitoba Foxworthy

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through
36" of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might be a Manitoban

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might be a Manitoban.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might be a Manitoban.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you might be a Manitoban.

If "Vacation" means going south past Grand Forks for the weekend, you might be a Manitoban.

If you measure distance in hours, you might be a Manitoban.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might be a Manitoban.

If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and then
back

again, you might be a Manitoban.

If you can drive 110 KM/H through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinchin, you might be a Manitoban.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
you might be a Manitoban.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow, you might be a Manitoban.

If you know all 4 seasons by: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road construction, you might be a Manitoban.

If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
your blue spruce, you might be a Manitoban.

If down south to you means the U.S. border, you might be a Manitoban.

If your 1st of July BBQ was moved indoors due to frost, you might be a Manitoban.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you might be a Manitoban.

If you find -20 degrees "a little chilly", you might be a Manitoban.

If you actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
your Manitoba friends, you might be a Manitoban.

3 Comments:

Blogger thegermanygirl said...

"If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might be a Manitoban."

LOL I have seen you do this!!! Maybe not in a parka, but at least in a heavy winter jacket!

Great laughs, Joel, thanks. ;oD

3:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like Saskatchewan.

Jamie(Klatt)
blessings-upon-us.blogspot.com

7:51 PM  
Blogger The Raabs said...

"If you measure distance in hours" - sounds like someone from LA except that the distance they're talking is probably a little less than the Manitobans.
Loved these - thanks!

9:19 AM  

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